Don't Change that Channel: You Might Die.

Our local news stations really are evil. They are purposely trying to scare the shit out of the viewers to increase ratings. I'm sure every news man in town had to sit down to conceal their excitement when they heard about the storms approaching.

Do we really need 8 hour coverage of these radar screens? Really, what is the point? We already have the Weather Channel. We already have sirens that go off in each town when The National Weather Service deems necessary. We also have the Emergency Broadcast System which comes across every channel. Not only that but if you are trying to watch your On-Demand on cable it kicks you off and sends you to an emergency channel! (BTW Insight: It doesn't work properly).

They do all this for what? To save your life. These news channels convince you that you need them. With out these local news channels keeping you safe and interrupting your regularly scheduled programing you would surely die. Or would you? Lets get some facts straight:

Chance of dying from a car accident: 1 in 18,585
Chance of getting struck by lighting: 1 in 244,000
Dying from flesh eating Bacteria: 1 in 1 Million
Dying From Bee Sting or Snake Bite: 1 in 1 Million
Odd of winning the Kentucky Lottery: 1 in 18 Million
Chance of getting hit by a Tornado: 1 in 70 Million

You are actually increasing your chances of death by leaving your house if the storm is headed directly for you. It might be more dangerous to walk down some streets than to ignore the tornado warnings. More directly it might be worse for your health to sit on your couch getting fat while increasing your blood pressure because you are scared out of your scrotum by these news people.
Thats right Dawn Gee we don't need you. The other night I heard you tell your viewers umpteen times not to touch downed power lines. You were like a broken fucking record of saving lives. Is there anyone on this planet who doesn't know not to touch downed power lines? (maybe thats how you catch the Downs Syndrome..durrrr) And if there are people that dumb on this planet how the fuck were they smart enough to even turn on the television and tune into you Dawn Gee? And another thing. If my power lines are down I wouldn't be watching the fucking news because I would have no fucking power. In turn, I would probably die never being able to hear your life saving message. How sad.



Your Black Star - Little Storms
Purchase the album Beasts by Your Black Star from Hawthorne Records.